happy unbirthday to me!

today is my birthday - i'm 25! i can't believe it. this is the first year that i have not wanted to get older. 23 was fun, 24 too. i was young, carefree, just out school, new to a city. now i'm 25.
i know it is young - i'm still the youngest of a lot of my friends, but turning 25 seems like more than just another birthday. i've been working in the same industry and living in the same city for almost 3 years. i feel like i should have some sense of my life at this point. but i don't. what am i really passionate about? what career do i want to pursue? do i want a career? will i ever be ready to commit to being in a relationship? do i want to stay in new york? what do i do with the little money i am saving - travel or save it to buy an apartment or house?

yes, i am a quarter of a century old and i am going through my quarter-life crisis. it started a few months ago when the winter was ending and i realized my birthday was coming. i wasn't excited about turning 25. i didn't have any answers for myself about my life. every week i was coming up with a new job i thought i'd like and i would research it for days. i looked into teaching english abroad, working for a non-profit, teaching in the us, being a copywriter, being a producer, going back to school. in the end, i realized it's not so easy to switch professions and i don't have the motivation to pursue something else right now. i thought about what interests i have and what i feel passionate about. i've always been into music and let that interest slip away from me when in relationships with people who didn't share the same interest. but music makes me happy and so does art and culture and fashion. i want to keep those passions in my life.

so slowly, with the occasional anxiety-filled days, i am getting through my quarter-life crisis. i'm trying to take it a day at a time and not plan so much ahead so i could enjoy my life right now. because i am still young and i don't need the pressure that i am giving myself. i'm single, can afford to pay my rent and still go on the occasional shopping spree, and i have a great set of friends and family. i'm 25! it's still my unbirthday, but i'm thankful for starting another year of my life on a healthy note.