tangled up in blue

you, your friend, our mutual friend. i met your friend through our mutual friend. your friend made me laugh and he had an accent. i liked him. i was out with our mutual friend and told him i liked your friend. our mutual friend and i met up with your friend at a bar. my friend made out with your friend. i was upset. you were there too. i met you that night. our mutual friend told me you’re a nice guy. i talked to you, but i liked your friend.

weekends went by. you, your friend, our mutual friend and i had drinks together. a lot of drinks. frequently. one night, after you and our mutual friend left, your friend and i stayed at the bar. we finished our drinks. then we were ready to leave. i put on my coat. your friend leaned in, and kissed me. christmas was in a few days. i went back to your friend’s apartment. we made out in his bed and then fell asleep. i left in the morning and told your friend to call me when he got back from the holidays. he didn’t call.

weeks went by. i hung out at a bar with you, your friend, and our mutual friend. your friend was different. he didn’t really talk to me. you did, but i still liked your friend.

the four of us went out again. the next day our mutual friend told me that you liked me. i was interested.

the nights of drinking continued. i was out with you, your friend, and our mutual friend. you and i talked more that night. i went back to your apartment. we made out on your couch and in your bed. we fell asleep and i left the next morning. i didn’t care if you called me, it was just fun.

it was a blizzard outside, literally. you called me and invited me to a party you helped plan. i went to the party with our mutual friend and met you there. your friend was there too, but i didn’t really like him anymore. you barely talked to me all night. i was a little annoyed. your friends left the party and it was just us. it was still a blizzard outside. i went back to your apartment. we made out and then fell asleep. the next morning i woke up and looked outside. it was still snowing. i needed to get home. i walked outside, into the deep snow – more than a foot. i had to walk to the subway. it took too long. the snow was deep. it was cold. i was hungover. it was the worst walk of shame.

you didn’t call me. i didn’t really care. months went by. 6 months to be exact.

i was out with our mutual friend. he told me you and your friend were at a bar a few blocks away. i sent you a text message. you wrote back the next day. we made plans to meet up.

i didn’t know if it was going to be a date. we had only hung out with your friends, so i thought they would be there. but they weren’t – it was a date. we had some drinks. it was awkward. we didn’t have much to talk about. i tried to start conversations, but you didn’t talk much. it was a boring date and i was tired. we went back to your apartment. we made out, then fell asleep. i stayed around a little in the morning, and played with your cat, but we didn’t say much to each other. i was sure you wouldn’t call me.

but on wednesday, i had a voicemail from you. we went out again a few weeks later. this time it was a real date – bottle of wine, appetizer, entrée, dessert. it was nice. you talked more. i liked you more. i went back to your apartment. we made out, fell asleep, i left in the morning.

a couple weeks went by. i was out with my friend and sent you a text message. you were at a bar nearby. we met up with you. it was awkward – you’re so quiet. my friend got a cab and left. i got in a cab and left. i could tell you were disappointed that you were going back to your apartment alone that night.

we met up the next weekend. this time for a comedy show. it was my idea. we didn’t need to talk much. it was good. you came back to my apartment, we did more than make out. it was ok. you left in the morning.

you called the next week. i didn’t call back. our mutual friend asked me why i didn’t return your call. i told him we didn’t click. you and i had nothing to talk about. he wasn’t surprised.