not relationship material

so maybe i'm crazy or too friendly or party too much or maybe it's just that i've been a single girl in new york city for a few years now, but i have met some interesting guys. and by interesting i mean not relationship material. some i gave my real phone number to, others a "fake" number. some guys i've dated, some i've hooked up with, some i've talked to, and some i've tried not to talk to. sometimes i wonder just how many more of these undatable guys i'm going to meet. it's a good laugh looking back at the guys i've met so far though. here's a selection of the guys i've met in the past few years:

- the city greeter: he was excited that i was new to the city and repeatedly asked me if i wanted to go to a museum with him. one time, after not answering his calls, he called from my friend's phone, so i thought it was her, but it was really him. i told him it was too nice in the summer to spend time inside a museum.
- bottle service guy: at a club, he invited me to his table that had bottles he had ordered for a drink. i wasn't interested in him, but i talked to him because i was drinking his alcohol.
- the business card guy: i don't really remember talking to him, but i found his business card in my purse the next day.
- the guy from college: i randomly ran into him at a sandwich shop. we hung out, then i found someone else to hang out with. when i was done hanging out with the other guy, i called college guy, but he was moving out of state the next day.
- the persistent guy: he called multiple times, left 3 messages on my phone inviting me to hang out. and i didn't respond to any of them.
- the banker: he worked too much to date.
- the guy i don't remember: i know i was at a club with him, but i have no idea who he was, how long we were there, or how i got home.
- the "actor:" he thought telling me he was once on a short-lived reality show and was in commercials would make me want to make out with him. it didn't.
- the late night random guy on the street: my friends started talking to some guys outside a diner around 3AM. one guy started talking to me and asked for my number. he made me promise i would answer his call. i gave him the wrong phone number.
- the park guy: he sat next to every girl sitting by herself in the park and repeatedly got rejected. he asked me if i wanted to talk and i said "not really. i'm just trying to read."
- the suit: it was midnight on friday. he was either hammered because he had been drinking since happy hour or he just got out of work and thought it was cool to wear a suit at a frat bar.
- the frat boy: he was drinking beer, taking shots, and drunk. he tried talking to me the minute i got into the bar. i left the bar 20 minutes later.
- elvis: it was halloween. he was dressed as elvis.
- the foreign guy: i didn't understand him on the phone, which made it difficult trying to figure out where he wanted to meet up. i made my friends come out with me to the club i thought he was going to be at, but i never found him.
- the cheap guy who just wants to get drunk: he was drinking some kind of super-strong long island ice tea that he admitted tasted awful, but bragged that he only needed to order one to get drunk.
- the subway guy #1: i was standing and he was sitting behind me. he asked me what kind of jeans i was wearing because he recognized the logo on the back. i told him and then he said he had never heard of that brand, but the jeans were very flattering on me.
- the subway guy #2: he told me i was wearing nice boots and asked if i was going dancing. i was just going home after dinner with friends. after every stop, he would try to start a conversation and i would give him one word answers. just before his stop he asked me if i wanted to get a coffee. i said no.
- thy shy guy: he asked me if i wanted to hang out through email. his nervousness was too apparent in his voicemail message to me, so i didn't call back.
- the older guy: i thought he would be more mature than guys my age. but then i learned that guys are guys no matter how old they are.
- the c-list celeb with no money: he got us into a club that's tough to get into and got a table in the back of the club and ordered bottles. he then asked all the girls at the table if we were "rich girls." none of us were. we were then moved to a much smaller table in the middle of the dance floor.
- the guy not over his ex: i saw him make out with his ex on the street the night we were hanging out. he then asked me if i wanted to go up to his apartment because he didn't think i saw what he had just done. i then told him off, twice.
- ali g (before borat): he would not stop talking like ali g. buyakasha.
- the quiet guy: he didn't have anything to say. alcohol helped, but not enough.
- the texter: he only communicated through text messages.

any sound familiar to you?